6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication - A Deep Dive Review

by Rebecca S Mullen (Author)

Updated at: 17/02/2025

In 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication, Rebecca S. Mullen offers a heartfelt and practical guide to improving marital intimacy through clear communication. Part memoir, part how-to, the book blends personal anecdotes from a long-lasting marriage with actionable steps to transform conflict into connection. Learn to conquer fear and confusion, ask for what you need effectively, and recognize the hidden conditions that poison relationships. Mullen’s six-step process – overcoming fear, getting clear, asking cleanly, bewareing conditions, affirming lovingly, and building boundaries – provides tools to foster understanding, reduce conflict, and build a stronger, more loving bond. Prepare for a journey of self-discovery and relationship renewal.

5 / 14 ratings

Review 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication

Reading Rebecca S. Mullen's "6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication" felt like having a warm, insightful conversation with a trusted friend who just happens to be an expert on relationships. It's not a dry, academic text; instead, it's a blend of personal anecdotes and practical advice that kept me engaged from cover to cover. Mullen masterfully weaves her own experiences into the narrative, making the six steps – overcoming fear, getting clear, asking cleanly, being wary of conditions, affirming lovingly, and building boundaries – feel both achievable and relevant to the everyday challenges of marriage.

What resonated most with me was the book's honesty. Mullen doesn't shy away from the messy, sometimes painful realities of long-term relationships. Her stories of vulnerability, both her own and those she shares from her coaching practice, are relatable and comforting. They validated my own struggles and reminded me that even in strong marriages, communication breakdowns are inevitable. The book doesn't offer simplistic solutions; instead, it provides a framework for understanding the root causes of conflict and offers tangible strategies to navigate them with grace and empathy.

The six steps themselves are presented in a clear, logical manner, making them easy to understand and implement. Each step is thoroughly explored, with numerous examples and practical exercises to help readers apply the concepts to their own relationships. I particularly appreciated the emphasis on identifying and addressing "dirty asks"—those requests laden with hidden expectations and unspoken resentments—and the importance of recognizing and dismantling the conditions we often unconsciously place on love. These insights alone were worth the price of admission!

Beyond the practical advice, the book’s tone is consistently positive and encouraging. Mullen's writing style is gentle and kind, fostering a sense of hope and optimism, even when discussing difficult topics. She emphasizes growth and understanding rather than blame or criticism, creating a safe and supportive space for readers to reflect on their own communication patterns. This compassionate approach makes the book not just informative but also incredibly empowering.

I found myself highlighting passages and jotting down notes throughout, eager to put Mullen's advice into practice in my own marriage. The book has already sparked meaningful conversations with my spouse, leading to a deeper understanding and a renewed sense of connection. I strongly recommend "6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication" not only to couples seeking to improve their communication but also to anyone interested in building stronger, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. It's a book I'll be revisiting often, a valuable resource to keep close at hand as I continue to navigate the beautiful, sometimes challenging journey of partnership. It's not just about fixing problems; it’s about cultivating a deeper, more loving connection.

See more: Book review of The Couples Communication Handbook